deck the halls

Christmas is going to suck for me this year. Usually I love it. It's my favorite holiday. Especially because the forgotten holiday is only 3 days later (my birthday). But this year it's going to be so different.
I was without a job for a while and that really hurt the pocket book. I have been working at the Topeka Country Club for about the last month now, but the money just isn't that great. It probably could be better, but I only work 3 days a week, all for only a couple of hours at a time. I have thought about trying to find a second job, but there's nothing I could do that would fit into my crazy schedule. I would try to pick up more shifts at the country club, but no one wants to give them up! So basically what I'm trying to say is, I'm screwed!
I know Christmas is suppose to be about the birth of Christ and about spending time with loved ones, but let's face it, it's also about the gifts. I always love to go overboard on getting people things. I always get Tyler Chiefs tickets for his birthday on the 2nd of December, and then something pretty expensive and nice for Christmas. Like last year, I got him an Xbox 360. It took me lots of time and money to find one, but dammit, I was determined! I always buy gifts for every friend I have that is remotely close to me. I like to buy a lot of things for my parents as a way of thanking them for all that they do for me (and trust me, they do a lot for me!). I even try to buy a lot for my sister...and we're not even close! But this year I'm just not going to be able to do it and it kills me. I don't want to be the cheap ass that didn't get much for my friends and family. I know they will all understand that I'm a broke college student trying to pay all my own bills and for school, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I still want to be able to do those things for them.
So I guess this year I'm just going to have to try my best to swallow my pride. I guess there's always next year.

that's gotta suck

I have really been having a pity party for myself lately. It seems like nothing has been going my way. I'm swamped with school work and I'm falling really behind. I'm incredibly broke and I'm freaking out about how I'm going to afford Christmas presents this year. My job sucks and I'm trying to get my old job back with no luck so far. It just all has really sucked lately! But today I saw something that made me feel just a little better about myself.
I was on my way to Feature Writing, driving down 21st Street. I was almost to Gage when I noticed a sign. It was the sign for Seabrook Tavern, a bar that a friend of mine works at. It read "Trisha Irish, I have your bad check." HAHAHA! How horrible is that?! That poor girl. She probably went in to have a couple of drinks, maybe a hamburger and fries, and tried to write a check for the whole thing. She probably was going to put the money in her checking account the next day and hoped that they just wouldn't cash it until then. Then the next day came and she probably was busy and completely forgot to go to the bank. So now her name is on blast for the whole city of Topeka to see.
At first I wondered if they could even do that, legally. But I'm pretty sure they can. And even if they can't, Tyler told me that sign has been up there for a week, so by now everyone knows Trisha Irish is a broke ass trying to pay for things with bad checks. It really, really makes me stop to think about what I'm buying before I do! I wouldn't be surprised if I start making more trips to the bank to get a balance inquiry from now on! I'll be damned if my name is going to be put on blast for writing a bad check!

Enrolling for next semester has really made me look at where I'm at in life. I only have a year left of school and then I'm done...for good. I say that only because I never thought I would make it to college, let alone be almost done with it. It's kind of crazy for me to think I'm actually going to to be out there living life with the majority of normal people in this world. I'm not so sure I'm ready for that.
It makes me feel so old to think about it all. It really does seem like just yesterday I was in high school, not worrying about anything but where the party was at that night or who was dating who that week.
My parents really want me to move to Wichita when I get done with school. Tyler and I have talked about moving to Kansas City, also. I know he really wants to move out of state, but he's just going to have to wait for all of that. I have known nothing but Topeka, Kansas for almost 22 years now (I know, I live a sheltered life). The thought of moving outside my comfort zone is really taking some getting use to!
I think the scariest part for me is that I still don't know exactly what I want to do with myself. I think my fear is that I'm going to spend all this time and effort getting a degree in Public Relations, and then turn around and not do anything with it. I don't want to be a server or a bartender for the rest of my life, but I don't know what it is that I do want to do. I guess maybe after I do my internship I will have a better understanding of where I want to be. Until then, I guess I'll just sit around and wonder some more.

Deal!

Someone tell me how I can get on the show Deal or No Deal. I'm signing up! I don't see any reason not to. I mean, think about it. The show requires no skill at all. It only requires a person to know their numbers 1 through 25. As a result, they reward that person with thousands of dollars (possibly even a million). I honestly can't believe more people don't sign up to go on that show.
I wonder what criteria they use to pick the contestants. At first I thought maybe they picked people who desperately needed the money to pay for school or a kidney transplant or something, but no, that's not it. Tonight, for instance, the contestant was a cocky police officer, who liked himself way too much. They asked him what he was going to do with the money he made off the show, and he responded by saying he was just going to put it aside. That's really responsible of him and everything, but come on. Give me a break. The guy wins 100,000 (he could have won 261,000 but he got too greedy) and he's just going to put it all away?!? I highly doubt it. If I were to win that much money, I think I would start by getting a new car. It would have to be something big so I can intimidate all the asshole drivers out there. Then I think I would pay off my student loans, and blow the rest on useless stuff that I really don't need.
So tomorrow, I think I'm going to get on the Internet and do some looking around. Don't be surprised if you see me on TV within the next month or so.

espanol? what?

I can't, for the life of me, figure out why the hell I decided to take Spanish in college. I'm horrible at it. I should have stuck with French. Even though I would get absolutely no use out of it, what so ever, I still would have had the 2 years of French I slept through in high school to back me up a little bit. I just can't understand anything I learn in my Spanish class. I really like my teacher and I think she's a good teacher, but this Spanish stuff just doesn't sink in.
In a week I'm going to have to get up, in front of the whole class, and give a presentation...a memorized presentation on a cultural experience I have had. I'm screwed. I might as well just drop the class now and eat the massive amounts of money I spent to take the class.
I have spent the last 2 hours trying to write a paper that we are turning in on Thursday. So far, I have 5 sentences. 5 SENTENCES! That's ridiculous! I mean, who does that?
The worst part is that I think I'm the only one that doesn't get it. Everyone else seems to know what's going on at all times. When I'm in class, I do fine. I usually know the answer to whatever question she decides to ask, and if I don't, I usually can make something up that makes a little bit of sense. But when I come home and actually try to do something with it, I'm shit out of luck. It's like everything I could have possibly learned went out the window.
So I guess I should get back to writing this paper. If I keep going strong without stopping, I might have it finished by the end of the semester!

i don't think so

So lately my dad has been on this kick where he thinks he needs to get a motorcycle. First of all, he's too damn old for a motorcycle. He's past the age of looking "cool." Second of all, what the hell does he need a motorcycle for? I know I sound really old by saying this, but they're so dangerous. It doesn't matter if the driver of the motorcycle is being safe, there's too many other idiots out there that could really injure them.
I think my fear of motorcycles started when I was about 12. I had been out to eat with my parents and we were on our way home. My sister and her friend had stayed home to study while we went out. We lived off of 29th and Wanamaker, and on our way back we noticed a really bad accident. Cops were everywhere. We got home and my sister told us that a guy on a motorcycle had gotten hit by a car. She said they heard the whole thing happen.
We decided to be nosey and walked down the road to see if we could find out more about it. As we got closer, my mom grabbed me and spun me around so I wouldn't see up ahead. I broke away from her grip because I wanted to see what she was seeing, and that's when I saw the most horrible thing I had ever seen. They were zipping up the body bag of the guy that had gotten killed on the motorcycle. He had died on impact and his motorcycle was found down the street. His shoe was still lying in the street and there was glass everywhere. It was horrible. Come to find out, the guy was on his way home from his wedding rehearsal. He was to get married the next day. He had one child and another one on the way. Those kids were now fatherless...all because some lady couldn't wait 5 more seconds for the motorcycle to go by, and made a left hand turn in time for the guy on the motorcycle to t-bone the car.
A few months ago I had another run-in with a motorcycle accident. My friend had been out with an old buddy of hers from high school and they were driving around on his motorcycle. A car backed out of their driveway and they ran right into it. Her friend was killed and she was sent to the hospital with a broken pelvis. She just got out of a wheelchair a week ago and she's now has to use a walker. She's only 26, and her best friend is now dead. All because some jackass wasn't watching what they were doing.
So I think my reason for not wanting my dad, whom I love very much, to get a motorcycle is justified. Maybe I'm being overprotective, but I'd rather be too cautious and have him around then be too laid back and loose him to another dickhead driver.